Getting my "in"

So how exactly do you go about gaining access to the greatest, most powerful cycling team in the world when their PR specialist is adamant about no press contact (and especially no one-on-one interviews) until the Games begin?

That's simple: catch them in the squatty potties, and bond with them over the awkward-yet-customary bathroom etiquette of the host country.

Today for the first time I found myself seeking out an Eastern toilet in preference over a Western toilet. Have no fear, Mom & Dad, I've not given way to the dark forces, and I'm not moving to the opposite side of the globe. I just simply didn't feel like bumping my head on a stall door while attempting to maneuver inside a poorly designed Western toilet stall that smelled like wet dogs. The Chinese have definitely mastered the cleaning situation of the squatties better than that of the Western cans. In addition, I just really wanted to test out my new use instructions to see if it made things better... which it does, by the way. It's the difference between day and night.

I knew there were some squatties in the 'drome, so I went venturing. The restrooms are structured such that there is a room with just sinks and a separate room for the stalls. You must first walk through the sink corridor on your way through. As I opened the first door to the sink area, I saw Wendy Houvenhagel in her complete race uniform standing in front of the mirror fixing her hair. She was prepping to put on her race helmet, which was resting peacefully on the sink in front of her.

Wendy is a member of the gargantuan cycling machine that is British Cycling. Coming in to Beijing, they are reigning world champions (held in Manchester, England this year) in seven of the ten track cycling disciplines recognized by the International Olympic Committee. This year Great Britain owns the cycling market and isn't projecting any speed bumps along their path to Olympic glory. Of their 14 track cyclists, nine will wear the rainbow-striped jersey advertising them as the reigning world champion in each one's respective event. Some have more than one championship to boast about. And of the five other riders who won't don the jersey? Most of them made the medal stand in Manchester. Their team bench area is large and commanding while they all ride in unison on rollers throughout the velodrome infield. Their uniforms even have a fierce lion's head emblazoned between the shoulder blades that states without saying, "You can't touch this power." Needless to say, I was completely intimidated.

As I pass Wendy at the sinks, I ask her the simple question, "How are the stalls? Respectable?" She smiles and ensures me that they aren't too bad, so I head in feeling good about my experience which I assume is complete. As soon as I open a stall door, it hits me... toilet paper. I turn around to check in the sinks room. When I open the door, I ask Wendy of there's any TP to be had out there. She just laughs, which enough to answer my question.

"What is the deal with this place? I mean, I really don't get it! Do people here not wipe? Why don't they need toilet paper?" I asked in a fit.

She chuckled, "I don't know, either. We've just been bringing our own."

"I think we've got some in the ONS office, I'll be right back," as I headed out to hunt down the paper. I returned a few minutes later and did my business. To my suprise, she was STILL fixing her hair as I walked up to the sink.

"Soap!" I exclaimed, "No soap either! She continued to laugh as though she was feeling my sentiments exactly. As I rinsed my hands, I asked, "So how long have you guys been here?"

"Just a couple of days," she said.

"Oh my gosh," I told her, "We've been here a month, and we've got a whole laundry list of things we'd kill to have right now... including soap and TP!" I shook my hands dry as I moved outside the room.

She agreed, "Good luck with all that."

"Thanks," I said, "I'm going to go find some hand-sanitizer. I'll see you up there!"

A small, insignificant interaction it was, no doubt, but there's a good chance that I'll never have the opportunity to speak to someone with that much clout ever again in my life! It was extra exciting for me, and I just couldn't wait to share it with all of you. Who knows, maybe my little bathroom bonding session will open up the gates for an exclusive interview on down the road?

Wouldn't I be so lucky :)

XOXO